Friday, June 02, 2006

"They stop to buy a Milky Way, discover we have Chardonnay"

So goes a line from the song "Step Across the Aisle" from the soon-to-be award-winning musical "Wal~Mart:The Musical."

The song is about trying to sell trendier things in the gigantic store.

But yes, to answer your inevitable question, this is real. At their annual stockholder's meeting, executives, employees, and stockholders alike were treated to the delightful new musical, featuring people dancing with shopping carts, and large video-projected messages from the Board of Directors, because when I think "musical," I think "large video-projected messages from the board of directors."

But it wasn't just a musical, the share-holders meeting also featured a number performed by Beyonce and the most-recent American Idol winner. Now that's something to get you investing.

Oh, and for those of you who are all "fuck the man, duuuuude" it should be noted that shareholders called for less of a disparity between executive pay and average worker poverty wage, disclosure of political contributions, and humane slaughter of chicken sold in the store, but thankfully the Reuters article on the evnt ends simply with the sentence "None of the shareholder proposals introduced at the meeting was approved."

As always, "I'm not making this up!รค"

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