Monday, June 18, 2007

Your dog fucking hates marijuana

By now, pretty much everyone is familiar with the nearly $200 million U.S. Gov't campaign Above the Influence and it's incredibly idiotic commercials that really appear to have been done by stoners, ironically. One could go into an extended rant about how conservatives who complain about excessive government spending seem to have no problem with throwing away millions upon millions of tax-payer dollars to poorly-conceived anti-drug ads, but that would be small and petty.

Me, I'm more reminded of the brilliant episode of Strangers with Candy, in which the drug counselor brought into the school to teach children the horrors of marijuana says something to the effect of "Oh sure, you may have heard of the 'scientific studies' proving that pot is 'not addictive' and 'not harmful,' but if you choose to smoke weed, you're going to be spending a lot of time laughing and having fun with your friends. Are you prepared to deal with that?"

Well, sadly, our government has hit about the same level of discourse. After being finally forced to admit that marijuana does very little physiological damage (especially in comparison to alcohol or cigarettes), the brilliant chums down at the ONDCP have turned to telling us that our pet dogs won't like us if we smoke up.

First, they started with a poorly drawn cartoon:


Seeing as that brilliant gem apparently failed to stop our nation's youth from the deadly clutches of the vile weed, the ONDCP has cooked up a new live action version, in which a weird talking dog informs a young lady that she's different when she smokes and that he misses hanging out with her. Unfortunately, this version hasn't been youtubed yet, but if you turn on your t.v., you'll surely see it within 5 minutes.

For a scholar of deviance such as myself, these commercials represent an interesting break from the commercials of the past. Whereas in my childhood we were told our brain would be fried like an egg if we used drugs, today's kids are receiving a bit less fear-inducing message. It's an interesting shift of strategy, no doubt in response to the increasing field of medical studies on the subject, and could almost be seen as a positive devlopment (at least they're not out-and-out lying about the effects of marijuana anymore).

But on the other hand, we must remember that while 50 million Americans have no health insurance, an illegal and immoral war has already claimed over 600,000 lives and counting, and our public schools are crumbling, your goverment sees it as a top priority to inform you that if you use marijuana, your dog will not like you anymore.

Unfortunately, we have no information on how your cat feels about your rampant marijuana use yet.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lol! I just wanted to correct you on one thing. Even though they don't take the approach of saying marijuana is harmful in ads, they still keep on with the same lies in health class. Or at least they did two years ago. They said that it was a dangerous "almost hallucinogen" that would harm your long and short term memory. That and smoke damages your lungs. Now not that I have ever done the stuff but I wanted to make a point that campfire most likely harm your lungs just as much. The teacher just told me I was correct and we moved on. So I guess my dog and significant other will hate me too.
Laura
p.s. Sorry about the rant =/