Basketball, Class Warfare, and The End Times

In a welcome surprise yesterday, I ended watching the Timberwolves play well for 3.5 quarters of basketball from 8 rows off the court, for free. I don't really care for basketball that much, and the Wolves are terrible beyond terrible this season, but who can pass up such seats? They are officially the best sets I've ever had to any sporting event in the history of my life, save Fort Dodge Dodgers High School basketball, and I'm not sure that technically qualifies as a sport.

But I do have to say that from that close, the game certainly takes on a different quality. For the first time, I really understood how fast the game is and how impresive things like Jason Kidd's no-look between-the-leg passes really are. Though when he's on the opposing team and he tries to make a really cocky no-look pass that gets picked off and taken the other way for a monster dunk, it's even more entertaining.

And being in the good seats is an experience in and of itself. For instace, we got to use the same entrance as the players. Thus, there's no way Dirk Nowitzki didn't hear me call him a Nazi, unlike when I'm shouting that from the 3rd balcony. And we even got to use better bathrooms than the mouth-breathers in the cheap seats, because when you have money like me, you can not condescend to pee next to poor people. But it's for the best; afterall, when they see what we have, it just angers up their working-class blood anyway.

Having the good feeling I would never be in such good seats again, I took full advantage of all amenities available, often getting up just to walk out to the lobby so I could have the satisfaction of going back in the fancy entrance. But I did get the distinct feeling that maybe it's a sign of the apocalypse when I guy like me gets to sit in seats like that. And much to my horror, I find that world leaders agree and have taken the precaution of creating a doomsday vault of all the seed varities in the world, just in case I ever get tickets to the very court-side seats that come complete with tuxedo-ed wait staff and the end-times truly come.