Apparently yesterday there was an 11 hour congressional investigation into who among baseball's current and former elites have used steroids. I read about this in an article on ESPN.com, which likened the investigation to the McCarthy trial, and then furthermore claimed the nation would need a long healing process to get over this scandal. The author suggested that we'll all be traumatized by Big Mac's use of steroids to hit an egregious number of home runs.
What is wrong with this? Where do I begin...
1) McCarthy destroyed peoples lives and families by accusing them of engaging in a legal activity. Congress is now threatening to annoy baseball players who have engaged in a highly illegal activity.
2) I heard there's a war going on, and according to all valid sources, it was all predicated upon many, many lies. Maybe we could use a congressional investigation into that.
3) Nobody gives a shit about steroid use in baseball. We're not stupid. We fully understand that human beings cannot get to the point of having 15 1/2 inch forearms (such as Big Mac...for a little perspective, I'm a fairly good size fellow, and I have a 15 inch neck. That means Mark McGwire could not stick half of his arm through the neck of my shirt) without having some sort of chemical aid. We're just mindless sports fanatics. We want to see big men hit things far, and occasionally hit each other. That's what we find entertaining.
I could go on and on, but I'm already angry enough. It was bad enough that we had to send Martha Stewart to prison to get people to forget about Enron. Do we have to have congressional hearings in to fucking baseball to get people to forget about a certain war that's not going very well?
Pictured: The man who will make us all weep at the thought that someone who is paid millions of dollars to hit a ball with a stick would cheat to make himself better at hitting the ball in order to make more millions of dollars.
What is wrong with this? Where do I begin...
1) McCarthy destroyed peoples lives and families by accusing them of engaging in a legal activity. Congress is now threatening to annoy baseball players who have engaged in a highly illegal activity.
2) I heard there's a war going on, and according to all valid sources, it was all predicated upon many, many lies. Maybe we could use a congressional investigation into that.
3) Nobody gives a shit about steroid use in baseball. We're not stupid. We fully understand that human beings cannot get to the point of having 15 1/2 inch forearms (such as Big Mac...for a little perspective, I'm a fairly good size fellow, and I have a 15 inch neck. That means Mark McGwire could not stick half of his arm through the neck of my shirt) without having some sort of chemical aid. We're just mindless sports fanatics. We want to see big men hit things far, and occasionally hit each other. That's what we find entertaining.
I could go on and on, but I'm already angry enough. It was bad enough that we had to send Martha Stewart to prison to get people to forget about Enron. Do we have to have congressional hearings in to fucking baseball to get people to forget about a certain war that's not going very well?
Pictured: The man who will make us all weep at the thought that someone who is paid millions of dollars to hit a ball with a stick would cheat to make himself better at hitting the ball in order to make more millions of dollars.
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