More and more these days I realize I'm getting old. Case in point: the other day, I saw a very humorous t-shirt, and I didn't buy it. Now, there was a time when Jesse Scott Genesius Wozniak bought every humorous t-shirt he could get his hands on (probably a contributing factor as to why I own well over 150 t-shirts). However, I saw this shirt, and I started thinking "Do I really want it? I mean, will I still be wearing it in 6 months? Couldn't I spend the money on better things?"
Now this may all seem trivial to you, but you must understand, this was a very funny t-shirt. It had a drawing of Jesus wearing a gigantic, blinging gold cross on his neck with his hands flashing gang symbols, and two apostle-looking gentlemen sitting next to a boom-box, and it was labeled "J-Unit" in a delicious satire of 50 Cent's own thug group, G-Unit. I'm sure you're all filled with mirth at the very thought of such a t-shirt. But as I laughed (and even grabbed it off of the rack, fully intending to purchase it) I paused and pondered 50's career. I know his new albulm is doing well, but let's think about it: when's the last time you heard of anyone reppin' the No Limit Soldiers? I mean, those guys used to look invincible, but now you'd just look stupid walking around wearing a shirt that had some Rabbis in a tank with "No Limit Schlamiels" written on it and Moses saying "Challah back, mein bruder!" You see what I'm saying.
So I didn't buy the shirt. Besides, I work in an office, so I have to wear "office clothes" 5 days a week. There would be precious little time to show off my witty shirt, especially considering the amount of time it has to be relevant.
God, I'm getting old.