Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A story so hackneyed it would make Tommy Chong and John Kerry blush simultaneously

A few days back, a pair of friends of mine who will be labeled "Sheryl" and "Scott" (to protect their identities) were under the influence of a widely-available and non-lethal, yet illegal, narcotic often known for increasing one's propensity towards food consumption whilst under its influence.

Anyway, they were late on their way to a semi-important meeting when a stranger approached them on the sidewalk. It turns out that this stranger was actually the owner of the coffee shop they were passing and wanted to know if the two of them would be interested in judging a pastry competition.

While one of the pair depesrately wanted to stay and consume a large amount of free pastries, the other felt incredibly compelled to get back to the semi-important meeting and poured so much guilt upon the other that the ideas was dropped, and both went to the meeting with empty stomachs.

In the end, I have to chalk up stories like this to the my counsel's old theory that many of the events in our lives are far too cartoonish to be believable in fiction. I mean, imagine it. If I were to pitch a story to Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong in which two young people are baked out of their minds and receive an impromptu offer to be participating judges in a pastry contest, even these two veterans of illict substance use would be forced to share a knowing look, sigh loudly at the precociously false tales youngsters always tell, and state loudly that this has not and will never happen in real life.

But it did, and my ignorant friends turned it down in a move that could only be compared to say, someone running for president and losing against a guy with an approval rating of 30% who is widely regarded as the worst president in history even by members of his own party. Yes, my anonymous, hemp-smoking friends reached a new height of stupidity that can be described as only Kerry-esque.

And that my friends, is a completely true and yet completely unbelievable story.

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