Thursday, February 02, 2006

Who let the president write his speech?

Apparently several White House staffers thought it would be hilarious to let the president write a paragraph or two of his State of the Union address. "What's the worst that could happen?" they asked themselves, chuckling heartily at the appearance of another "misunderestimated" or "is our children learning" coming out of him and improving his image as a folksy village drunk/idiot.

But then the terribly unforseeable happened.

In a moment of stupidity/drunkeness/coke-fuelled rage, the president and former owner of Arbusto Oil (literaly: Shrub Oil) announced his intention to cut foreign-oil imports by 75% by the year 2025. Such a bold stance from an oil man and fella who doesn't seem to care too much for the environment.

Well, it turns out that he may have been exaggerating. His much calmer and much more well-informed advisors have been quick to point out that the number of 75% was just an example and that he didn't mean it "literally".

Ah! So that's it! It was all metaphorical. Like when a professor gives you a 95 on a test and tells you that you got an "F", explaining that he didn't mean 95 literally, you dumb-ass flunkie.

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