Tuesday, January 15, 2013

You Sir, Are A Bad Person

It turns out Rick Scott, governor of Florida and part-time Lex Luthor body double, adopted a rescue dog for his re-election campaign and returned it as soon as the campaign was over.

Look, I get it -- politics are all about spectacle and whatnot. I know that just because a politician rolls up the sleeves on their immaculately-pressed "work" shirt, it doesn't mean they suddenly understand what it's like to have a real job. I get that when they kiss a baby for a photo op they don't genuinely love that baby. I'm a pretty naive fella, but not that naive.

But this is just...man, whenever I think I'm so cynical that nothing can surprise or anger me, shit like this happens. Although I'm a dog lover and probably dote just a little too much on my pooch, I've never been one for the crazy animal rights people. I eat meat, I'm fine with work animals, etc.

But where I will sign on with that stuff is here -- a dog is not a fucking prop for your campaign. They're actually living creatures with emotions and fears and needs and all the other shit that comes with higher-mammilian life. Of all the shitty political grandstanding that goes on constantly, somehow this just feels that much more over the line than the rest of it.

Though I'll go ahead and make the call here so I can say I did it first: when Scott eventually tries to run for president, don't be too surprised if all of a sudden he has a few new, extremely photogenic children. But don't worry; his campaign will have no realistic shot, so those kids will be back to the orphanage in two, three months, tops.

No comments: