How I Think (Apparently I Was Never A College Student)

I got an e-mail from a colleague today touting the new "mindset" list as a way of understanding how those damn kids think these days. Essentially, it's just a big list of things that these kids have supposedly never experienced and how that must influence the way they think about things. Of course, I say supposedly because according to whoever comes up with these stupid things thinks that if something happened a year before someone was born they will never know what it was. But really, I hate lists like this because they're so glib and essentializing and really are just another attempt of out-of-touch middle age people trying to feel smugly secure about their life experiences based on the fatally-flawed logic that because they experienced things the world has long outgrown they're somehow smarter than those who haven't.

But to illuminate my complaints, here's some selections from the 2002 mindset list, which is the closest to when I entered college available (I entered in 2000, so it's not too far off):

1. The people starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980.

They're starting college at the age of 22? Apparently this generation is really behind or had a bunch of stuff to get done after high school...

2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and did not know he had ever been shot.

I was well aware of both of these events, and I was born 2 years after these people were supposedly born

6. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart, and do not remember the Cold War.

Trust me, you remember nuclear paranoia no matter how old you were when it stopped. Also, I would consider 11 old enough to have memories of that period...

11. Bottle caps have not always been screw off, but have always been plastic.

To this day glass bottles and non-screw off tops made of metal still exist and can be found quite readily.

13. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

Just because a medium has fallen out of favor does not mean people have no conception of it. I also know what a horse is even though cars are far more popular...

14. They have never owned a record player.

By the time I got to college, I owned two record players.

15. They have likely never played Pac Man, and have never heard of "Pong."

I had played both of these multiple times before I got to college

20. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.

Again, being young does not make you mentally retarded. I'm pretty sure by the time people go to college they have a basic grasp of inflation and the fluctuation of prices.

21. They have always had an answering machine.

I never had an answering machine.

22. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black & white TV.

I had a black and white tv well into my teens.

23. They have always had cable.

I never had cable.

25. They cannot fathom what it was like not having a remote control.

I didn't have a tv with remote control until I was about 7 or 8.

27. Roller-skating has always meant in-line for them.

Didn't get a pair of in-line skates until I was a teenager.

32. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

I was afraid to take baths alone as a child because of the high likelihood of a Jaws attack. Movies do get replayed after they leave the theaters...

35. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

I am wearing hard contacts as I write this

42. McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

McDonald's stopped using styrofoam in 1990. By the author's own logic, these kids would have been 10 at that time. Pretty sure people remember things that happened before they were 10...



...And that is why I hate these lists. Even if they were true, they would still be completely meaningless (oh, no! my students don't know what an 8-track is! How can I even begin to teach them about our criminal justice system?!?), but even that doesn't matter because they're never true! It turns out that in a nation of roughly 300 million people there seems to be a diversity of experiences. Shockingly, not every child grows up with the exact same electronics, parents, history books, schools, income levels, etc., etc., and that it just might be a little worthless to speak of an entire generation as if they were one person who had a generic slate of experiences.

And yet highly educated people (these are developed by collegiate professors after all) not only make these lists, but actually take them seriously as if they give some sort of insight into today's youngsters...sigh. Fortunately, I don't trust anyone over 30. Did you know that people over 30 grew up without twitter? And to them, the blue M&M is a recent phenomenon? And the internet still confuses and scares them? It's true! Hopefully these facts will help you communicate with old and out-of-touch people...