Wednesday, July 19, 2006

"Why I Love the Big City, No. 376,843" or "Like Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer (Only Less Homoerotic)"

Last monday night it was me an' Arturo's weekly trek to Bunker's for an evening of music, and on rare ocassion, pretty girls. Arturo's good people, and after he has long been the Val Kilmer to my Tom Cruise (or the Iceman to my Maverick, if you will), I decided it was time to switch up and play a supporting role by being his wing man.

So as he swoops into a decent-looking girl (it was pretty late in the evening by then), I made my move toward the corpulent friend in an attempt to engage her long enough to free the object of his desire. But as I turned to speak to her, I realized someone had already taken the wing-man position for me.

But it wasn't just any someone, it was National Football League Hall of Fame defensive end Carl Eller.

Yes, I had been usurped at the position of wing man by a Hall of Fame member of the Purple People Eaters.

It was even crazier than that time I found out that Alan Page was a male stripper.

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