Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Angry movie rant...

So two jerk-offs at Time magazine (they refer to them as "movie critics") have come up with a list of the 100 best movies of all time. One movie that was conspicuously left off of the list just happens to be my favorite movie, Apocolypse Now. They also left off some notable others, such as North by Northwest that I haven't seen, so those don't piss me off as much. This isn't just a personal beef. It's not like I'm complaining that they left off Pretty Woman and I'm upset because that Julia Roberts has such a pretty smile. I mean, this is Apocolypse Now. Never mind that the American Film Institute named it the 28th best film ever made, or the fact that the editorial board of the Modern Library named "Heart of Darkness" (the novella on which it was based) one of the 100 greatest English language novels of the 20th century.

Here's what really pisses me off though.

It's more about who did make the list. It had all of your truly notables, like Citizen Kane, The Godfather, and Casablanca. However, it also features such lesser known notables as 2003's Finding Nemo and the 1982 classic featuring acting hero Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner. That's right...fucking BLADE RUNNER. Blade Runner?!?!? I repeat myself only because I cannot believe they thought that Blade Runner is a better movie than Apocolypse Now. I mean...Blade Runner? Why not put Rambo III on the list? Because after all, Rambo didn't save his commanding officer from Afghani warlords, he also got a spike through his midestion, so to cauterize the wound, he was forced to pour gunpowder into his stomach and light it on fire, causing an explosion to burst out of both sides of his torso, after which he was fine. And he did this only after crawling miles through sewer pipes to escape a prison camp. Now that deserves a nod from Time magazine.

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