When I was younger, every Christmas season (and yes, I said Christmas, you godless liberal atheists...and other religions) my folks and I used to go the library and check out a record of various "ethnic" Christmas songs form around the world, because we're those kind of open-minded people, right?
Anyway, my favorite song by far was Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey because I liked the make the donkey noises along with the donkey on the recording (I didn't have many friends).
So, last Christmas, I had come home with my precious few days off of work, and my girlfriend at the time had for some reason never heard of the Dominic or his multi-ethnic friends, so I dashed straight-off to the library to find it. Well, it turns out that the Fort Dodge Public Library is one amongst many libraries that now bans adults unaccompanied by children in the children's section of the library (to attempt to stop kidnapping and sexual predators). So after a few moments browsing in the children's section, I was promptly asked to leave.
Turns out they had gotten rid of their record collection years ago anyway, so it didn't matter, but I still felt a little depressed getting kicked out of the library because they thought I was a sexual predator when I was simply trying to relive one of my most cherished chidlhood memories.
But all was not lost, because today while randomly downloading seasonal music, I stumbled onto a copy of Dominic, and have been listening to it ad naseum.
And to think, if it were up to the ACLU, I would have to listen to Dominic, the Italian-American Secular Gift-Exchange Quadraped.
Thank God for Bill O'Reilley.
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