Yes Axl Can!

Over at the AvClub, Chuck Klosterman reviews the long-anticipated Chinese Democracy. I don't mean to call it the most-anticipated album of my life time, but I've been waiting for this one since it was cool to like GNR un-ironically. And it turns out the album isn't that bad, either, at least according to Mr. Klosterman.

In this day of downloads and free corporate music, might I be actually compelled to go purchase Chinese Democracy? I'm not sure I'll go that far, but it would be like owning a piece of history...

Which makes me wonder -- between the election of a bi-racial president and the actual, honest-to-goodness release of CD, is this the most historical year in recent memory? I like to think so. I like to think that someday, when people are accepted regardless of their skin color and crazy conceptual hair-metal albums are released without restrictions on the "creative" process, we'll all look back on 2008 as the year that made it happen.

My New Time Wasters

The best thing about working on a big project like your prelims is that you end up spending a great amount of time finding stupid things on the internet. My two most recent favorites:

Sleeveface, a website in which people carefully position album covers to look like they're part of the actual photo. Here's the best I've found:



And I feel like this one's already made the internet rounds, but I also quite enjoy Indexed, a collection of 3x5 cards that help explain life:

Stand Up Against H8

See below the call for action in Minneapolis as part of the national day of protest against Prop 8:

NATIONAL DAY OF ACTION FOR LGBT RIGHTS

Saturday, November 15
12:30pm
Outside Government Center
350 S. 5th Street, downtown Minneapolis

While celebrations erupted Tuesday night over the election of the first African American president, many also watched in sadness as California, Arizona, and Florida voted down marriage equality for LGBT people. Since then, tens of thousands have taken to the streets to oppose this discrimination and declare that the right to marry the person you love is a fundamental human right, regardless of sexual orientation!

Saturday, November 15th has been called as a National Day of Action in support of LGBT rights (see www.jointheimpact.com). Tens of thousands will protest all over the country, in every state, declaring our opposition to all forms of discrimination and demanding an end to homophobia – and to help launch a new civil rights movement, for full equality for gays, lesbians, and transgender people.

This is an issue of equal rights for all Americans! Stand up and make your voice heard! Join us in pressuring the California government to overturn Proposition 8 banning same-sex marriage.
--------------------------

Some National B.S. Becomes Local

Do you remember that girl from a Pittsburgh suburb who claimed she was attacked and beaten by Obama supporters for the crime of wearing a McCain button? The pictures were pretty terrible, and a for a few days, the right-wing media was all over the story. But then do you remember how it came out that she faked the whole thing and is now facing charges of fraud and filing a false police report?

Well, it turns out my own little neighborhood has its own version of this bullshit story. An Augsburg College first-year is claiming some unidentified black people beat her up election night for wearing a McCain/Palin button.

Now, the fact that this story is an exact replica of its more famous fake predecessor should probably be enough to let you know it's fake, or at least make a major metropolitan newspaper put a little more investigation into the story. Or so you might think.

But of course, you'd be wrong, because it was a giant spread in this morning's paper. What's most interesting about this girl's story is how she and her parents try to frame it as a minority's rights thing -- because everyone in the Twin Cities is a liberal they just can't stand the poor minority viewpoint of conservatives. I'm a bit confused seeing as how their entire platform is that minorities should have no rights what-so-ever, but I suppose it's different when you see yourself as the minority.

But even if the story was true, are we really to feel bad for this girl? Ok, that may be too harsh. Certainly, no one deserves to be beaten up for their political views. But what about those who support a candidate who built his entire campaign around racist attacks and vilifying all who are different? What about a campaign that used rhetoric so harsh the Secret Service has accused it of prompting death threats to Obama?

You know, conservatives love to stick it to anyone who ever claims discrimination and say they should quit whining about how the world is unfair, suck it up, and not blame their problems on other people. They vote against gay marriage and affirmative action because even recognizing the humanity of those different than them is beyond their capability. But then when the tables are turned, look at how quickly they run crying to Big Government to protect their sad widdle chiwdwen who are being picked on...just because they're different...

Sigh.

Sometimes I feel like this is all part of a grand scheme to destroy irony and all forms of satirical humor by making reality far more ironic than any sarcastic late-night pundit ever could...

Feel Free to Feel Old

Remember the controversial naked baby from the cover of Nevermind? Well, he's 17 years old now (and apparently kind of a douche).

For a visual comparison:

Current Season Weather Warning and the Culture of Fear

Several years ago, USC sociologist Barry Glasner wrote a book called The Culture of Fear, in which he essentially argues that most major institutions in America now use fear as a way to manipulate and direct people (though he obviously is a bit more nuanced in the book). I couldn't help but think about it this morning as the radio announced a "winter weather advisory."

Now, I'm sure this phrase actually means something specific, but just think about it as it is. Winter. Weather. Advisory. So let's see, it's the current season (winter) doing something that happens every day (weather) coupled with a blandly perplexing warning (what exactly are we advised to do?). They are essentially telling us that winter means there is bad weather, and you know, be careful about all of that. Because we all need a warning that the weather gets worse when frozen rain falls from the sky.

In a way, it's much like the terror alert level. Every time I've been to the airport in the last two years, the threat level has been "orange." Not only is orange completely devoid of any meaning as a category, it would do me no good even if I knew what category it represented. What am I going to do, single-handedly foil a terrorist attack because I now know to be on the lookout for it?

In much the same vein, the U has a text message program that lets you know every time a crime has been committed on campus. Again, in what way does this serve anyone other than to make them afraid? Oh, ok, a robbery happened outside the library...now I never go the library again? What conclusion am I supposed to draw from such a random piece of information?

So I guess we can argue all day over how intentional this fear-creation is and to what ends it is being used, but it's hard to argue that we do indeed live in a culture of fear...

You Can't Spell "Relaxo" Without "Relax"

Well, I finally finished the prelim (well, the first draft) and got it send out to my committee. After doing pretty much nothing else for the past two months, I decided it's time to finally relax a little bit. So what did I do this weekend? Pretty much nothing productive. I did, however, watch a great amount of t.v. and imbibe at levels appropriate for doing nothing. Oh, and I played a game of flag football.

So, in other words, I had pretty much the perfect weekend...

Visiting the Home of Walt Whitman, Poet and Noted Queer

For fans of the State and/or Stella and/or surrealist semitic comdeia del 'arte, David Wain has a new weekly internet sketch comedy show aptly entitled Wainy Days. It's pretty much what you'd expect from David Wain, plus a lot of celebrity cameos (well, celebrities of the absurdist comedy world). If nothing else, it beats doing work:

My $.02 on Barack

So it was indeed an historic election last night. Of course, this didn't much help me sleep, as the folks in my hippie/immigrant neighborhood were out literally dancing in the streets into the wee hours of the morning.

And you know, I wish I could feel that elated. Don't get me wrong, this election turned out pretty well. Obama is clearly going to be a much better president than McCain, he'll probably get some worthwhile stuff done, and if nothing else, there's great satisfaction to be found in the Republicans losing an election in which they banked so heavily on fear and racism. It says at least a few good things about America.

But I can't help but feel Obama is the standard Democrat -- far better than the Republican alternative, but not really what I want. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of irony last night as people whooped and hollered over his statements about the war when the man campaigned on increasing troop levels, which is hardly what you do when you're ending a war.

And I'm not too cynical yet that I don't believe it's a big deal to finally have a president who is not white. It's a big step for this country, and I think it signals a great deal to the rest of the world (I have a whole different rant about how Obama's election really means more for our standing in the world than anything else).

Yet at the same time, let us remember that the entire point of the civil rights movement was that the color of a person's skin makes them neither inherently good or bad. Much as you should never look down at a person of color because of their skin tone, you can't say Obama's going to be any different or any better based on a bunch of rhetoric and his skin. Let us remember how much "better" England got when they finally got a female head of state...

In the end, like all presidents, this one is going to have to be pushed and pushed and pushed every day if we expect him to make any truly meaningful changes. So go ahead and celebrate and make orations about the historical significance of this moment, but be ready for January when we have to start work to hold him to everything he's claimed he's going to do...

Vote Convict 9653

"I'd rather vote for what I want and not get it than vote for what I don't want and get it"
--Eugene V. Debs

If you're in the Twin Cities and someone's trying to mess with your vote, call 1-866-687-8683, and tell your friends. Phones will be answered in English, Spanish, Somali, and Hmong.

R.I.P. Studs

As most of you are probably already aware, Studs Terkel died last friday at the tender age of 96.

A journalist, skilled interviewer, labor organizing, sports broadcaster, and all-around rabble rouse, Terkel was an inspiration to many. As a researcher who attempts to understand and interview people, I can only hope to be half as good as Studs was in getting to the marrow of the issue with everyone he spoke to.

I don't have the time to write the kind of post a guy like Studs deserves (though here's a good one), but I'll never forget reading one of his most famous interviews with a former member of the John Birch Society, a racist, anti-immigrant, anti-Catholic companion to the KKK in which the fellow describes how he came to understand that such racial divisions were just made up by the powerful to separate us from one another and the power we have when we organize and work together. Only a guy like Studs could bring that out of people.

He'll be missed.

Putting the "Slutty" in Hallo-slutty-ween

As that cinematic feat of social analysis Mean Girls pointed out, Halloween has become the one day a year when nubile young women are allowed/encouraged to parade themselves in the skimpiest/skankiest of outfits without being judged for it. Note that nubile young women are always encouraged to do this; it's just the magic of Halloween that provides a forum for doing it and not being judged (as harshly).

But did you ever know where this trend started? Well, neither do I, for I'm assuming the encouragement of women to dress in provocative outfits runs further back than modern Halloween celebrations. But I did find out today an interesting tidbit about the company facilitating the explosion in Halloween objectification: a classy little company called (I shit you not) Leg Avenue.

They've given the world such stalwart costumes as sexy nurse and sexy cowgirl, yet also opened us up to sexy Little Red Riding Hood and sexy Referee. But more importantly than the many sexy variations of all possible costumes is the more pertinent lesson Leg Avenue has taught us, namely that all proper Halloween costumes for women include thigh-high stockings. It's what separates the sexy zookeepers of the world from the standard zookeepers that may or may not actually be sexy.

And while Leg Avenue does sell men's apparel, for some odd reason it's neither anywhere near as revealing nor does it have the adjective "sexy" in front of every garment...

Anyhoo, Happy Halloween to you all and may your costumes be appropriately skanky!

On Voting, Democracy, and All of That...Stuff

Voting has always been a sticky point for Radicals like your humble neighborhood blogger. On the one hand, I recognize that in a presidential election my vote consists of .0000000000000192% of the electorate, and is likely to be subject to voter fraud. Not to mention that by voting you implicitly endorse this terrible, terrible candidate-selection system that in no way responds to people's real needs.

Yet at the same time, you have to acknowledge that not voting for such reasons is a bit of a privileged position to take. After all, thousands of people have died in thousands of different conflicts to guarantee the right to vote (though of course I'm referring to those battles fought by women, African-Americans, Eastern Europeans, etc. to get the right to vote, not some bullshit war that accomplished nothing) and to not vote would be spitting in their face.

All that being said, I still drag my ass to the voting booth for every election there is. Assuredly part of it is to cancel out the votes of others, not to mention the high civic-participation rates of us here in the upper Midwest.

But I guess ultimately it comes down to recognizing voting for what it is: a relatively important 10 minute (if you live in a nice enough neighborhood to get polling stations that are actually staffed and well-maintained) act that is but one small part of making actual political change. I suppose it's a lot like grocery shopping -- it's important, but it still doesn't mean you have dinner.

Still not convinced about the semi-importance of voting? Don't take my word for it! Take the word of a guy who produces subversive surrealist late-night cartoons:

Politics!

Anyone who's taking the time to read this knows how fucked up the treatment of RNC protestors has been, but especially for those charged with the completely bullshit terrorism counts. Below is a communiqué from the Friends of the RNC 8:

A petition by Friends of the RNC 8 has been put together calling for the Ramsey County Attorney Susan Gaertner to drop all the charges against the RNC 8. Defend The RNC8! Dismiss the Charges! : http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/defendthernc8

The goal is 100,000 signatures. Please take a moment to sign the petition. Then help get the word out by forwarding the petition to friends and family or posting a link on your Facebook page.

For updates on the case visit: http://rnc8.org . To get automatic email updates, sign up here: http://rnc8.org/get-updates/

The legal costs for the RNC 8 are estimated at $250,000. Donations can be made via PayPal or you can mail in a check (there is even a tax deductible option). All the information you need is at: http://rnc8.org/donations/
Donations of all sizes are greatly appreciated.

Fuck the Weak and Elderly, I'm Setting a World Record

Today the U attempted (and succeeded well beyond expectations) to set the world record for most flu shots given in one day. Your humble li'l blogger is but one of many who helped set this record, but still, that makes me a world record holder in some sort of miniscule way. Can I claim such credit when I was one of thousands and was in no way involved beyond spending 10 minutes waiting in line and getting a simple flu shot? No, I really can't. But did I go ahead and put "World Record Holder" on my c.v.? Yes, yes I did. For I see very little difference between what that show-boating Bolt guy did and what I did. And I'm not even bragging as much as he did...


Sadly not the world record I hold

Whoopsie, Sorry About Your House and Retirement

Anyone following the news of this whole economic crisis by now knows that Alan Greenspan, that financial "genius" who would ensure us endless growth and prosperity, has now admitted he was wrong. It turns out this genius is just now figuring out that completely un-regulated markets directed by the greed of executive boards of major corporations will not lead to the greatest good for everyone. It's funny because I learned this in college, but maybe Greenspan's undergrad institution wasn't quite as prestigious as the University of Northern Iowa.

But that's why it must be great to be a powerful capitalist. Because even when you fuck up the world's economy using logic a child could see through, you get to just kick back and say "Whoops. Sorry about ruining the lives of thousands of people and all that. Well, it's back home for me to count my giant piles of money."

Man, nice work if you can get it...

Funk The War in the Twin Cities Today

A roving dance party/anti-war protest. It honestly gets no better than this.

Be there. Or be square. And fuck Huey Lewis, you do not want to be square.

More Music You *Need* To Hear

How on the heels of my post the other day, yet another group has come out with a book on the 500 songs you should hear before you die. Not quite sure why all of these lists reference your impending doom, but hey...

This one is from the fine folks at Pichfork, so expect a lot of uppity sass, pretension, and condescension mixed in amongst your reviews. Though on the plus side, after reading it you can be the pretentious music asshole at the party, and everybody wants to be that guy, right? Right?

Wordless Outrage, etc.

The Denver Police Department is currently producing and selling these t-shirts:



So yes, just so you can be up to speed: the Denver PD has designed, produced, and is currently selling shirts in which they proudly proclaim they beat people. And in case you can't see the details in the photo, the "peace" officer in question is wearing a button featuring a 68 with a slash through it, no doubt in reference to the group "Recreate 68" that planned many of the protest events.

Ironically for me I get word of this shirt while in the midst of writing a prelim section on police brutality. While I can't sum the whole thing up here, I think the shirt says it better than I could anyway. Police brutality is not an aberration of which the police are ashamed. Rather, it's something quite common and something which they're obviously quite proud of.

However, this does make me wonder how many Denver PD will be wearing this shirt when they're called into court facing civil lawsuits over their excessive violence during the DNC. I would guess that all of a sudden they'll be very contrite and pretend they didn't do anything wrong. But then again, I suppose that's the way it is with all cowardly bullies: they're the biggest and meanest kids around until they get in trouble...

I Have Seen the Future (of football)

And it is the a11 offense.

Developed by a small-enrollment high school football coach as a way to compete with much bigger teams, it exploits a loophole in the kick-formation rules to make all 11 players on the field potentially eligible receivers on every play. As one might imagine, it creates both havoc for defenders and some pretty cool youtube videos.

The coach who developed it argues it's the next evolution in football, as pass rushers get too fast for linemen and they become obsolete.

Now, I don't know that the o-line is going to become obsolete anytime too soon, but it's an intriguing development. As I've argued here before, football is getting to a crisis of size. Even college linemen have ballooned to obscene weights, and even some high school linemen are topping 300 pounds. Now, the vast majority of these kids putting themselves into such harmful body weights will never earn money for playing the sport, but will still be stuck for life with the debilitating problems such massive size brings. Heck, even the ones who do end up getting paid can look forward to an average life expectancy of 55.

Innovations like the a11 could be the way out of this arms race (or body race, to be more accurate), as they call for a leaner, faster player instead of bigger and bulkier players. And it has the added advantage of less serious injuries, as the crushing head-on blows of the current game are replaced with glancing blows in the open field.

Predictably, several states have already banned the use of the offense, with critiques running from it being too hard on opposing defenses to it simply being too confusing for refs, but it's gaining in popularity throughout the nation. It's far too early to say if it will be the new thing or simply a passing fad, but it could be a signpost toward a positive evolution of possibly the most violent game on the earth.

Oh, But I Love Solids

As I've pointed out in this space before, getting sick sucks when you're a grown up. Gone are the days of laying around in bed without a care in the world while all the other suckers have to go about their daily lives. No, as an "adult," when you get sick, you merely get much busier when you're better. Case in point: I woke up wednesday with a ridiculous stomach flu. Bad enough to send me to the doctor's office, and I never go to the doctor. It's a scary place and they no longer give me a lollipop for my troubles.

But it turns out it was nothing too serious, though I'm still off the solid foods (though I tried some toast this morning, so keep your fingers crossed). But the shitty thing is that right now I'm working on my prelim, which is more or less a big paper that is either good enough and I get to become a bonafide doctoral candidate, or is not good enough and I fail out and go back to selling match sticks on the corner for my 18th century, Dickensian step-father.

So as the good Doc was telling me not to leave bed for the next three days and offering to write me a note to get out of class, I couldn't help but laugh and wish that I was still at a stage where a nice Dr.'s note got you out of pretty much everything. Instead, I went home and attempted to write through the fog...I haven't gone back and looked at those sections yet, but I'm imagining they aren't very good.

So it looks like a fun weekend of playing catchup, once again shredding what few moments of free time I hoped to have...

Oh, and since I haven't blogged on anything political in awhile, remember how the New York Times uncovered the secret Pentagon program of writing fake news reports and other propaganda to convince Americans and Iraqis that the highly unpopular occupation is a good idea? Well, it's still going on, just fine and with no signs of stopping.

What You Should Listen To...

There's a great number of interesting music blogs I've been tempted to ape when I have some rare free time for writing such flippant things (most intriguing is the favorite song for every year you've lived idea), but one I fear I shall never try is the the 1,000 songs you must hear before you die.

Since seeing the list, I've been brimming with ideas of who would be on my must-hear list, though I feel like it's really a list that a 26 year old kid shouldn't/can't be writing. Maybe I'll leave it until the days I'm old and gray, sitting in some sort of fancy future rocking chair, sipping some sort of fancy future tea, and complaining about the weird fancy future music all of those damn future kids are listening to.

But I do have the workings of a list started. Perhaps I'll write the 250 songs you need to hear by the time you're 30; I don't know. But I do know that any such list is incomplete unless it heavily features the shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner, the bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher and the competent drumwork of Don Brewer...

The Shark Messiah Arrives

Scientists have just confirmed the second known virgin birth of a shark, which could only mean one thing:

The sharks now have their messiah.

What does this mean for humanity? Only one thing, I'm afraid: The sharks will rise up, led by this new shark messiah and will over-take humanity at the top of the global food chain.

There is nothing left to do now except accept out new overlords. And let me be first to say, woe to all those who challenge the intelligence and temerity of our new shark leaders! All hail the shark!

Time To Party Like It's 1999 (+2)

Ah, the halcyon days of 2001...N*Sync was still considered a valid pop group, an aging Joe Piscapo pondered a run for the governor of New Jersey, the events of September 11th Changed The World Forever™, and the domestication of the dog continued unfettered.

In honor of their 10th birthday, Google has created Google 2001, allowing you to search their oldest available index, which, as you may have guessed, is from 2001.

So go play around on it and be reminded of a simpler time before moose-hunting secessionists and a massive economic crisis...it's kinda fun.



The top internet fraud scams of 2001...

Getting Cold and Manning Up

Here in the great north, turning the furnace on is a big deal every winter. While sooner or later everyone has to break down and turn it on, it becomes a point of pride to see how long you can go before turning to the comforts of artificial heat. Personally, I think having your heater running anytime before November is a sign of getting soft, but opinions vary.

So while I've been able to hold off on the thermostat, I did today have to bust out the insulated slippers. It feels early, but it's a cold and miserable day, and I think I'm getting sick, so I finally had to break down and admit it's getting to be cold outside.

But while my feet have given out on me, at least I haven't turned the heat on yet...

The One Benefit of Private Schools

I'm not a fan of private schools. I'm sure it's due partially to the fact that I've attended nothing but public schools throughout my life, but it's more an ideological stance. Education is a basic human right that should be afforded to all, not split between those who can afford great schools and ghettoized prison complexes for the rest of us.

But while at the lady friend's college reunion this weekend, I learned the one upside of private schools: there is a much better chance some of their wealthy alumnus have gone on to do something famous. Or in this case, marry someone famous.

For you see, the fourth Mrs. Gingrich is a proud Luther College Alumnus. And this affords you a chance to annoy Mr. Contract With America himself, while he takes awkward sideways glances at the leftist propaganda emblazoned all over your bag and clothes. But being a good politician, he faked a smile for us anyway:



Remember when I was a relevant political figure?

When Do The Police Answer for Their Fuck Ups?

Amongst the many people who had their houses illegally searched and were detained for no reason prior to the RNC (well, check that, detained for the very specific reason of preventing them from using their constitutionally protected rights to free speech), one was longtime local activist and founder of Arise! bookstore.

Why was his house raided and all of its occupants arrested? Because police "intelligence" confirmed that he was receiving shipments of weapons to violently shut down the RNC. The only problem is that the police were completely wrong.

The boxes of weapons in question were nothing but pamphlets about vegetarianism which, while a very backward and dangerous ideology, probably does not necessitate breaking into people's houses with your guns drawn and arresting everyone inside.

But what I really want to know is why the police don't have to answer for such monumental fuck-ups. If I tried to publish a paper with such obviously wrong ideas and was proved to be incorrect in every way possible, I would laughed out of my profession. But if cops operate on obviously faulty intelligence and harass law-abiding citizens, nothing what-so-ever happens to them. In fact, their mayor comes out in support of them saying they showed admirable restraint.

Good work if can get it, I suppose...

Well...

...let's go Tigers.

September Baseball and Community

Growing up in a small state with no professional sports teams, there wasn't really a consensus on who to root for. Sure, I was a die-hard Twins fan, but most of my friends liked the Cubs, or Cardinals, or any of the other teams from bordering states. So when your team won, there weren't too many people to celebrate with. You just kind of went about your day happy for a victory, but alone in your joy. Which, in a way, takes away some of the best parts of sports; namely, having an amazing collective experience.

But living in the same city as the team you love is an incredibly different story. It really is like that scene in Major League where the punks are hugging the suits and the rabbis are hugging the clerics and all of that. Just wearing a Twins shirt or hat opens you up to the possibility of conversation everywhere you go.

And it really is a great feeling. Not to go on a Putnam-esque rant about the state of today's society, but big city folk don't usually talk to strangers. It really makes the town feel a whole lot more homey when everyone has a smile for everyone else after an amazing three-game sweep of the hated rivals. Even the buses flash "Go Twins" between giving route information on their little electronic signs.

I'm tempted to wax philosophically about the power of sport to bring us all together, but I know whatever unity it brings is ephemeral and fleeting. But still, when you're in a playoff hunt in september, it's pretty amazing the way everyone is suddenly friends...

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Welcome your FIRST-PLACE Minnesota Twins!

Obligatory Twinkies Post

Despite sending away arguably their two best players this past winter, the Twins are again playing meaningful* September baseball. And damn if it ain't exciting. At the game last night I definitely got some grey hairs out it all, but in the end saw another young guy step up and saw Twitchy McXanax get his 200th career save.

And with time being a major crunch for me lately (possibly related to the fact that I'm spending a bit more time watching baseball than I probably should), I don't have time to go on a full-length rant about the state of parity in Major League Baseball, but suffice it to say that it just came out that the Yankees spend twice as much on their payroll as the Rays and Twins combined. In fact, just the left half of their infield (Jeter and A-Rod) make more than either the Twins or the Rays payroll.

And yet, the Rays are cruising to 1st place in possibly the best division in baseball, and Twins are gutting it out again with a bunch of 23 year old kids making 15 cents a day.

As with all things in Minnesota, you have to measure them on a different rubric. I can't see these Twins going too far in the post-season (but I love their chances next year), but right now, all of this is good enough that I don't really care. For late-season fights for the pennant are the Minnesota version of playoffs anyway.




*Yes, I know in the grand scheme of life no baseball is actually meaningful, but in the context of things, etc...

Mainstream Criminology and Market Failures

I'm TA-ing for Intro to the American Criminal Justice System right now, and as much as it's an interesting class, the content is a bit different from how I would teach it. For in this class, the students are learning about two mainstream theories of crime -- Order Maintenance Policing (OMP) and Collective Efficacy.

Basically, OMP says that if you aggressively police small crimes like vandalism and loitering, it sends a message that crime is not welcome and will prevent bigger crimes from happening. Despite some very thorough and convincing research that this doesn't actually work, it sounds like it makes intuitive sense. On the other side of things, collective efficacy holds that the more social cohesion there is in the neighborhood, the less likely people are to commit crimes because they see that everyone is committed to a safe neighborhood and won't tolerate illegal activities.

Now, there are tons of problems with both of these theories (for instance, use either of them to explain Enron to me), but the biggest problem is that they both rest on a highly punitive theory that sees people as rationally calculating actors who will commit crimes if it's more profitable than legal activity and vice-versa. Therefore, we just need to raise the costs of doing crime (longer jail sentences, etc.) and people will stop committing criminal acts.

Of course, such a line of logic completely misses the fact that most property crimes are committed because the person in question has no other choice. It's not like they're weighing the options of a Harvard MBA versus mugging people. They're much more likely to be weighing starvation and homelessness against mugging people.

But an even bigger problem with such logic is that those who spout it know full damn well it doesn't work and are clearly only using it as a way to round up the poor and minorities, providing cheap prison labor, easy scapegoats, a roll-back of the civil rights movement, and a whole host of other disingenuous motives.

And how am I able to make such audacious claims about their motives? Because when the criminals are wealthy elites, suddenly the logic flies right out the window, as the above cartoon illustrates. For the poor we can't have rehabilitation instead of prison, as the conservatives argue, because it will make people dependent on the state and not punish them for their crimes. However, when you purposefully commit illegal acts and create a national financial crisis, you get $700 billion, which of course in no way encourages future criminal action. No, it sends the strong message that white collar crime will not be accepted.

So let that be a message to you, future CEOs of America: if you act criminally and fuck up the entire nation's financial system, we will harshly punish you by giving you hundreds of billions of dollars. So please, walk the straight and narrow.

Two Short Plays About the American Economy

Here's what would happen if I fucked up really bad and lost a bunch of money on a shady housing deal:

Jesse: Oh fuck! This house I clearly couldn't afford is being taken away from me!

U.S. Government: Of course it is! You should manage your finances better.

Jesse: But now I'll be homeless and destitute! Where can I go? What can I do?

U.S. Government: Well, maybe being homeless for awhile will teach you a valuable lesson about fiscal responsibility.

Jesse: Dang, looks like it's back to living in the car for me!


Here's what would happen if I were the CEO of a major lending firm:

Jesse the CEO: Oh fuck! Lending large sums of money to people I knew full well would not be able to pay me back has bitten me in the ass. I clearly have no idea what I'm doing!

U.S. Government: That's ok. Here's 700 billion dollars with no strings attached. Enjoy!

Please contacts your Senators and Reps.

Arg, It Be That Time Agayne

Yes, once again it is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, and for your help and edification, here's the official guide to talking like a pirate, including how to speak like a pirate in German, Swedish, and Mandarin.

More Innocent People Dying, blah, blah, blah

The busy semester is keeping me really busy (as one might infer from it being called "the busy semester"), so I haven't had much time to crank out some thoughtful blogposts. In the meantime, I'll just keep you posted on many of the standard yet horrible injustices going on in the world.

Horrible injustices such as Georgia Executing an Innocent Man. It's a fascinating case with the particulars, but otherwise it's the standard police couldn't find a suspect so they shoe-horned an innocent blackman into the role and now he's going to lose his life for happening to have been where he was at the time the actual crime was committed story...

How Do You Know It's Gotten Out of Hand?

When Karl Rove says you've gone too far. I haven't actually seen the commercial in question, but when the dark overlord of all that is unholy says you're going too far, chances are you've said something pretty fucking terrible.

You know what else went way too far? The policing at the RNC. Want to see a really good example of the cops needlessly pepper-spraying and beating an unarmed and passive protestor, and then closing ranks around her so they could beat her without the camera being able to pick it up? Well, the click here, but I'll warn you in advance, it's pretty disturbing. Though not as disturbing as what they've been accused of doing once inside the protective walls of the local jails when there was absolutely no chance of a television camera picking it up...

The Art of Being a Dick, featuring Norm McDonald

Being a dick is a difficult thing. It isn't just about making fun of people, or making passers-by uncomfortable. The talented ones can do it and not look like jerks in the process. For example, my brother is one of the few who has elevated it to a fine art. Even when he's being such a dick that you can't stand it, on a certain level you have to applaud both the commitment and cleverness involved. It's actually kind of a beautiful thing on an odd meta-level.

Norm McDonald has basically made a career out of it, and few are better. See for instance, this recently uncovered clip of him being a giant ass on Conan many years ago:



But note that what makes it wonderful is that even though he's being a giant dick to everyone involved, it seems warranted. After all, it is indeed a stupid career move to leave a top-rated show for a Carrot Top movie that has a 14% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, even if you are Courtney Thorne-Smith. And really, wouldn't most people rather see Norm McDonald make fun of a flash-in-the-pan star than hear another rehearsed, packaged interview comprised of nothing but pre-written studio sotck phrases? I think so...

Who's Reading Jesse's Bog? Part IV In a Never-Ending Series

I'm not much of one to shill for people (except for the great taste of Miller Lite©...great taste, less filling. Just one of the many fine beverages from the good folks at the Miller Brewing Corporation), but I do have to give a shout-out to google analytics. It's this really sweet program that tracks everything you could ever want to know about who is visiting your website or blog.

And trust me, it gets really fascinating. For example, I know that I have a certain international appeal, but now it's been confirmed, for my humble li'l blog has been visited by people on every single continent. Save, of course, Antarctica. Though to be fair, they don't keep track of antarctic visitors, so for all I know they're reading it down there, too.

And that's a pretty cool feeling. Of course, as I've acknowledged before, a pretty healthy chunk of those "people" are really just trolling internet programs trying to sell me black market viagra, but still, some portion of the visitors to my blog must be real flesh and blood human beings.

Some of the nations of visitors are surprising (I'm kind of a big deal in Yemen, it turns out), but others I could have guessed. The Cannucks seem big on me, and I'm huge in both Germany and France. They must be tuning in for my progressive America-bashing and/or support for socialized medicine. I also get a fair number of hits from India, but to be fair, even if I were getting thousands of hits from India it would still be only about .000001% of their population.

Though I would really like to point out that I have hits from China, meaning my li'l ol' blog is safe enough to get through official government censorship. Now, maybe it's just because I'm a communist, but I like to think that the demand for my witty insights into life is so high that even totalitarian governments must bend to the will of my many fans. Or they're the ones posting all of the discount viagra comments. Either way, though, it's pretty cool.


Update: After posting this, I just realized it's 9/11 today...so you know, bake an American-flag shaped cake or punch an immigrant or something. We all have to do our part, you know.

Helping You and Needing Some Help

One doesn't simply go from being an all-american small town altar boy to a rabble-rousing, law-breaking malcontent all by themselves. Sure, I had a head start on it compared to most people with a lefty family and an economically devastated hometown with no opportunities to show me the dismal side of our political and economic system, but even I needed a nudge along the way.

And many people along the way helped me a great deal, but amongst those who did the most, one finally pushed e from respectable upstanding citizen to common criminal. Fr. Frank Cordaro (ret.) of the Des Moines Catholic Worker House was the first to introduce me to a life of civil disobedience and Christian resistance.

The Des Moines Catholic Worker House is a part of the larger Catholic Worker movement, made up of Anarchist Catholics dedicated to serving the poor and remedying social injustices. They have given up nearly all of their material possessions and live in community and poverty. The Des Moines Catholic Worker not only feeds the homeless daily (as well as providing them many other services), they are also the heart and soul of the Iowa peace movement. Whether it's been protesting the Iowa Air National Guard's patrolling of the no fly zones in Iraq (which means preventing needed food and medicine from reaching the Iraqi people) or attempting a people's arrest of Karl Rove for War Crimes, they provide the services our government can't or won't to the people who need it the most.

But like most everyone in Iowa, they were hit pretty hard by the floods. Especially considering all of the members of the worker community live in formerly condemned houses they have rehabilitated, which as you may guess, don't hold up so well to floods. Due to many circumstances beyond their control, they are also down in numbers of community members right now as well, so they are having an especially hard time recovering from the damages.

And we cannot let this community die, or we can kiss goodbye a great chunk of all Midwestern radical peace organizing (these people do a lot of work, I'm telling you). If you're at all inclined, send a donation to them here:

Donations
C/O Frank Cordaro
Phil Berrigan CW House
713 Indiana Avenue, Des Moines, IA 50314
www.DesMoinesCatholicWorker.org

Of if you happen to be in Des Moines, stop by and lend a hand. Tell 'em Jesse sent you. And, as always, keep them in your prayers.

The Rest of the RNC

So it turns out that when you have a bunch of work piling up, the semester starts, and you're busy protesting every day, you run out of time for the little things, like sleeping, eating, and of course, blogging.

But now that all the confetti has been cleared out, all of the police have been tucked back into their suburban homes, heavy with the happy rest that only 4 full days of hippie ass whompin' can give you, and all of the rabble have been safely charged with ridiculous made-up felony charges, I have some more free time on my hands. Which is not to say I have much free time, but enough to vaguely keep my head above water.

Day 3 of the RNC was pretty low key for me. There weren't any major actions planned, but I did go to a great performance of Wake Up World, the world's only 6-hour long morning show, created by one of the co-creators of the Daily Show. It was a fun time, but mostly we were there for Billy Bragg's intimate performance, which was quite good but ended far too soon so we could watch that lipstick-wearing pitbull, or whatever the hell that speech was about.

And that night, yet another Rage concert ended in arrests, as concertgoers from their downtown Target Center performance we arrested en masse for charges that still haven't been made clear. Though I imagine if they had been at say, a Toby Keith concert and acted in the exact same manner they probably would not have been arrested.

Day 4 we had been warned by our inside informant to stay away because the cops were really ramping up their efforts that day, and sure enough, as I mentioned in an earlier post, about 300-400 people were arrested that afternoon to put the week's arrest total over 800 (compared to 150 arrests at the DNC in Denver). Given the amped-up presence and a relationship event of significance, the lady friend and I took a personal day and avoided the melee.

So now things are back to relative normativity, but all of those charged with a felony last week (which was scientifically determined by what each person was wearing, according to scores of those arrested and legal observers) have launched a class action lawsuit against the city of St. Paul and local fascist demagogue Bob Fletcher for their heavy-handed and inept policing of the RNC. But, the RNC 8, those arrested in pre-RNC raids held on some serious felony charges, still face some really bad prison time for expressing their right to free speech. If this makes you a little uncomroftable with the state of our democracy, please check out their website and help 'em out.

Out of Order Quick Post

So really quickly, the police crackdown has dramatically increased. They shut down a march today and expect to have arrested several hundred people, putting the total reached in the week somewhere near 700 people total having been arrested. Tonight's arrests included 15 reporters, who were obviously neither protesting nor breaking any damn laws.

If you disagree with the Heartland becoming a police state, please contact Ramsey County Sheriff Bob Fletcher at 651.266.9333, and ask him to please stop trampling the last shreds of our constitution. While you're at it, please share thoughts with St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman (651.266.8510).

It doesn't really have anything to do with where you fall on the political spectrum...this is embarrassing to all of us as citizens of democracy and human beings.

Day 2 of the RNC

Day 2 was a pretty interesting day all around. To begin with, it was the first day of school, and I've drawn possibly the worst TA assignment one can get this semester, so I'll be having an interesting school year, but that's largely beside the point.

A friend had gotten some tickets to the taping of the Daily Show, it's first day here in St. Paul. After waiting three plus hours just to get inside, we finally got to sit down and wait for another hour. Finally the pre-show warm-up guy came out, and after nearly half of the sociology department had been involved in his little set, John Stewart came out to do some q+a before the show started. And it takes way to much background information to work out of context, but suffice it to say that this humble li'l blogger asked a question good enough to make him laugh and throw him off his game a little bit, which made me feel way cooler than it should have. But at least I got a good story out of it.

The show was really fun to watch live like that, and provided me with many great stories, but the real story was on the streets. After the taping, they wouldn't let us leave because all of downtown was on lockdown. Earlier in the day, there was a free concert, and when Anti-Flag tried to cut their set short and give the stage over to a surprise Rage Against the Machine performance, the police cut the power and shut down the show. Zach grabbed a megaphone and lead the crowd in some acapella versions of a few Rage songs, but then the concert was broken up and the police forced everyone into the streets, where they met up with a pre-existing rally...a brilliant strategy for keeping peace and order.

But the real excitement for the night was after the taping, when we were able to stand on the street and watch fascism in action. After the rally passed, they were followed by phalanx after phalanx of riot police (over 150, by my count). All of a sudden, all of the police lined up single file, knelt in unison, and took off their helmet to put on gas masks, then stayed bent over and covered their heads.

So that was definitely a scary moment, but we got away without being gassed (though they were apparently gassing people up the street). However, my inside source at the St. Paul PD then texted me to get the hell out of there because the National Guard was being called in with live ammunition (live ammunition meaning real bullets).

So I got out with my life, but it was another long, fun, and scary day. But I guess I'm going to keep up with this one-day-behind coverage, so check back in tomorrow for day 3 news, featuring another Rage concert leading to arrests and an intimate Billy Bragg show.

I'll be checking out the last protest this afternoon which may be against my better judgement, seeing as this is the pigs' last chance to whomp some hippie ass, but I just can't stay away. On the plus side, only one more day until all of those out of town trouble makers (CIA, FBI, National Guard, etc.) are out of our peaceful town.

Also, just for your edification, over 100 of the people summarily arrested monday have already had their charges thrown out as blatantly false, and one staffer for a Republican state senator was arrested in the middle of the mass arrests. So in other words, they've only arrested one actual criminal thus far...

A Great Time in The Ol' Police State

So it's been awhile, but in case you haven't been paying attention, the Twin Cities are more or less under siege in a complete police state. But here's a re-cap of what your favorite rabble rouser has been up to...

Day 1 of the RNC:

Day 1 started out fairly mild. There was the big, legal and well-organized march. It was good time; we marched, we chanted, we walked through the freedom cage, we angered the 4 or 5 counter-protesters. All in all a pretty standard protest march. But the highlight? The Iraq Veterans Against the War attempted to enter the RNC to present their demands for immediate withdrawal and were met by over 100 officers in complete riot gear blocking the building. Undeterred by the fascism they were supposedly fighting overseas, they did not back down and eventually, the police parted and let them through. They then read their demands on the floor of the RNC itself. Perhaps you haven't heard about this, but far be it from me to suggest the mainstream media does a poor job of covering political dissent.

After the march, the lady friend and I headed over to the Take Back Labor Day rally/concert, and it was easily one of the best shows I've seen in a long, long time. Though we missed most of Billy Bragg's set (no worries, seeing him tonight), we did see Steve Earle and Alison Moorer turn in a nice performance as we settled down to lunch. Atmosphere did a damn fine set, Mos Def was a little disappointing, and Pharcyde was phar from that good (see what I did there?).

But Tom Morello as the Nightwatchmen stole the show. His set was an amazing combination of informative politics and unabashedly passionate music. Highlights include him doing an acoustic version of Guerilla Radio (complete with replicating his famous solo on the freaking harmonica) and when he invited the Iraq Veterans Against the War to lead the crowd in the most rocking version of "This Land is Our Land" that you will ever hear. I actually started to get chocked up during that one.

However, the fun dissipated as right across the river we were all treated to a display of state repression as over 300 peacefully assembled people were surrounded by the police, tear gassed, pepper sprayed, and some beaten. They are currently all being held, but charged with nothing. This is a nice continuation of the police's weekend pre-RNC raids on several area houses, often breaking doors down and entering with weapons drawn to arrest people for no specific crime (most still have not been formally charged with anything).

Finally, after a long, fun, and scary day, we biked the hour back home to Mpls to rest and marvel at the police presence. This post is already too long, so look for tomorrow's coverage of Day 2, featuring a visit to the Daily Show and your blogging hero nearly getting gassed. Stay tuned...

Is John Mayer more talented than me? And other questions that haunt my nights...

I've been a musician for more or less my whole life. From piano lessons in grade school, through bands and choirs in school, through bands with friends, through picking up instruments here and there, and even riding a vocal scholarship halfway through my undergrad years. I can play about a dozen instruments, half of them pretty well, and I'm a good enough singer to garner the aforementioned scholarship. In short, music has pretty much dominated my life. I've been spending the majority of my days either listening to or performing it for as long as I can remember. I know it inside and out, classical and contemporary, theoretically and wanking jammery.

Yet my one big project this summer has been to write a song. A song of my own. One that I would perform and say "here's a little ditty I wrote" or something witty like that. How hard can it be? To borrow a phrase, the radio is full of no-talent ass-clowns winning Grammys all over the place. Certainly it cannot be that hard.

And yet it vexes me so. I simply cannot write anything I would ever perform in front of other human beings. And in my quest to figure out why this writer's block has such a grip on me, I've been relentlessly analyzing all forms of music I listen to.

And you know what I think? I think I'm just not full of myself enough to do it. I mean, seriously, look at the lyrics to your favorite songs. Read them aloud, with no music or anything, just read the words aloud. You'll notice they sound completely ridiculous. So ridiculous you have to wonder if the people performing them ever get embarrassed of having to say such things night in and night out on tour. But they don't, because they're able to accept their own bullshit as if it were legitimate.

And it's not just accepting your own bullshit, it's truly believing that others want to hear your bullshit. And don't get me wrong, I'm plenty able to force my bullshit on others, but for some reason, just not musically.

So I'm working on it, and making a little bit of progress. But I have to believe I'll overcome this and write some eventually, because I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with the fact that there are things the likes of John Mayer can do that I can't...

Kick-Ass Upcoming Events in the TC

Tomorrow night at Arise!, world-renowned graphic novelist and social justice activist Seth Tobocman will be appearing at Arise (2441 Lyndale in Uptown). Seth is best know as co-creator of the comic World War II Illustrated, but my favorite of his would have to be You Don't Have To Fuck People Over To Survive, a brilliant thesis on anti-capitalist work, and also the book I read while getting my first tattoo...the book isn't tattoo-related at all, but it holds special memories for me in that way, too.

Second, make sure also to get your ass over to Harriet Island on the first day of the RNC to see the Take Back Labor Day festival. A combination of music and activism put on by the SEIU, it will feature so little-known no-name acts as Atmosphere, Mos Def, Billy Bragg, Steave Earle, Alison Moorer, pharcyde, and some kid named Tom Morello, who apparently has another band playing in town the next night.

Anyway, it's a good time to be back in the Twin Cities. And if you're out of town and thinking about visiting soon, remember that bars can stay open until 4 a.m. for the Republicans...just so you know.

Home -Grown Terrorism and Where the Police Waste Their Time

I remember back in undergrad after it was revealed that the police had been spying on a group of mostly elderly priests and nuns I did anti-war work with, the mother of the girl I was dating at the time explained to me that it was necessary for the police to keep tabs even on pacifists, because "terrorists do run in those circles."

Now, it goes without saying that this lady was incredibly stupid (though for many more reasons that just that statement), but she was even more astoundingly stupid than usual that time.

Because American terrorists are not leftists, they are conservatives. After the recent murder of the chair of the Arkansas Democratic party, we have the second story in just a few weeks of a right-wing nutjob going crazy and shooting up leftists because of Rush Limbaugh convinced him it's ok to do so.

But really what these stories point to is that incredible ways in which our law enforcement resources are woefully mismanaged in order to intimidate progressive activists rather than actually, oh I don't know, enforce the laws or stop crazed right-wingers from blowing up federal buildings, for example.

Time and time again, the facts have proven that lefty peacenicks are completely non-violent (you know, much like the names "pacifism" would imply), while radical right-wingers are not afraid to use murder to achieve their aims, whether it be against abortion, liberal churches, black churches, or any other group or institution they feel is a threat to their insane world view.

But yet where do local, state, and federal law enforcement put their resources in investigating political groups?

Though to be fair, it must be pretty hard. I mean, on the one hand you have groups asking the government to stop killing, and on the other hand, you have groups openly advocating murder. It must be pretty hard to figure out which one poses the bigger threat...but then again, I guess it depends on what you define as a threat. While I might say people who advocate murdering innocent people are a threat, I can see how people who say that perchance the United States shouldn't dictatorially control the world or murder over a million people in a war based on lies must seem pretty threatening, too...

Um...At Least We're Not the Only Racist Nation?

In a recent ad for the Spanish sports magazine Marca, the entire Spanish Olympic basketball team posed while making "slanty eyes" to promote their appearance in the games in China.

This is pretty much just 100% fucked up, so I don't really think it needs any commentary...though in unrelated news, I hear they hired Don Imus as their play-by-play announcer...

Happy Birthday to Me

I am 26 years old today.

I have no clever saying or relevant song about turning 26, so there is no long-winded essay today. I'm finally home from the east coast and it's my birthday.

Even though I cleaned, cleaned the apartment on my birthday, it's still a pretty good day. I am going to lounge around in my pajamas and play Tecmo Super Bowl, possibly the greatest video game ever made...ever.

And then a surprise party tonight (the suspense!).

And that's a quality birthday.

Finally Coming Home

After a long, warm, humid, and Godless month on the East Coast, the lady friend and I are finally beginning the long trek home tomorrow, interrupted only by stops for food and the occasional cool-looking mini gold course.

Words can not express how good it will feel to be back in the loving embrace of the Twin Cities.

So blogging will be pretty light for the rest of the week, but return with a vengeance as soon as I'm back to my own computer and my own home of righteously indignant commentary...so...you know...stay tuned for that.

I Wish I Were Still Naive Enough to be Shocked

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A Hearty Huzzah for...me

Just got word today that one of my papers has been accepted for publication. While this isn't technically the first paper I've published, the (one) previous paper was in a special issue of a journal a good friend was guest-editing. And while it was still reviewed and all that, this one feels a lot more real and a lot more like my first one.

And sure, I know that the average number of readers for any given journal article is 3 and the modal number is zero, but I'm not letting that get me down. I'm damn proud of my paper that no one will ever read.

So today is a good day. And I'm heading back to God's country so very soon, I can almost taste it. Life is indeed looking up.

Big Uppin the Hometown

Though I may be stuck out in the Godless East Coast, it warms my heart to see the hometown getting some positive press. Though anyone who's been through knows it, people are finally starting to recognize the greatest city in the world for what it is.

For starters, British politics and lifestyle magazine Monocle named Minneapolis one of the 20 most livable cities in the world, citing our world-class arts, theatre, dinning, and a whole host of other great things. And quick on the heels of this report comes the regular update of how Minneapolis continues to lead the nation in volunteering for the umpteenth year in a row, even in spite of the fact that volunteering rates are dropping nationwide.

So there you have it -- a kick-ass city with the nicest people in the nation. That's God's country for ya.

The Right Wing Does Not Get This One

There's an hilarious op-ed in the Wall Street Journal today by Andrew Klavan suggesting that the Dark Knight is nothing but a thinly veiled tribute to the Bush administration. As The Hater points out, Mr. Klavan has to stretch pretty far to make the connection, with his best evidence being that the bat signal looks kind of like a W. He also makes the entirely specious comparison that lefty documentaries against the war have made far less money than this supposed paean to the right-wing and organized murder. Because documentaries always out-gain giant summer blockbusters, you know.

But even beyond his flawed logic and gargled tones (you see, it's hard to understand someone when they're so busy fellating the president), the analogy simply doesn't work. After all, Batman actively refuses to kill his enemies, because he knows that as soon as he does, he's no better than they are. The whole movie is set up to deliver the message that no matter how capricious or cruel your enemies are, if you abandon your morals in fighting them, you've already lost. The only times in the movie when the bad guys actually win are those times when the heroes stoop to their level, which is exactly what those bad guys want in the first place. You know, like when a certain Reagan-funded billionaire pays some people to crash planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon in order to provoke a war which recruits him thousands of new allies after the inevitable imperialist backlash.

But hey, far be it from me to suggest the Wall Street Journal has some sort of editorial bias that might blind them to the obvious morals of the film...

American Teen Review

Just went to my first-ever pre-release screening tuesday night. It was for the up-coming docudrama American Teen, and while it didn't really blow me away, I'm a sucker for having gotten to see a movie before everyone else gets to. Really the highlight of the movie was the grand-prize raffle drawing for a one-night stay at the Four Seasons, which I unfortunately did not win.

The movie itself was more or less a live update of the Breakfast Club, as it followed the senior year of a popular jock, a rich beauty queen, a weird arty girl, and a band geek. Only Judd Nelson was missing.

Ultimately, it was a fairly fun movie, but it suffered from the fact that it had relatively few surprises for anyone who had ever gone to high school. Well, actually I should say anyone who went to high school in the Midwest (it was shot in Indiana) as people of color were for all intents and purposes completely absent in the film. But otherwise, the popular girl stayed popular and didn't get into trouble for anything, the jock played basketball and remained popular, the weird arty girl continued to be weird and arty, and the nerdy band kid stayed a nerd. The best parts of the film were actually these little animated montages that more-or-less mocked what the kids wanted to do with their lives, some deserving that treatment, others not so much.

I really wouldn't recommend anyone rush out and see this unless you're a big reality t.v. fan, but it's a pretty solid rental, if nothing else than for reliving your awkward high school moments through other people.

USA! USA!

Of all the things the U.S. leads the world in -- imprisonment, military expenditure -- perhaps the one we should be most proud of was just discovered. The World Health Organization (WHO) just released its first-ever cross-national drug use statistics, and the U.S. comes well out on top in both marijuana and cocaine use, despite having some of the most draconian anti-drug laws in the world.

Our slightly over 42% of the population who admits to using marijuana (a number that is low compared to some other reputable social surveys) ranks in at twice as high (no pun intended) as the Netherlands, where pot is legal. Our cocaine usage rate of 16% is four times as high as Columbia, a nation practically drowning in...well...Columbian marching powder.

Hmmm...so it turns out arresting 830,000 people a year on drug charges gives you the world's highest rate of drug usage. Not to be too radical, but maybe if there's a widely available, non-lethal drug that nearly half the population of the nation uses despite incredibly harsh laws and punishments, maybe we should think about a different way to handle it. You know, other than locking up nearly a million people a year and changing absolutely nothing but people's arrest records...

Everything I Do Turns into Terrorism

As I've mentioned before in this space, I don't usually go looking for trouble, trouble just finds me. I mean, I'm a political activist and all, so obviously I'm bound to get into some kind of shenanigans sooner or later, but I feel like I've gotten into more of my fair share. You know, like the kind when the FBI shows up at your front door.

Anyway, a new and interesting corollary to all of this is that everything I am connected to is also slowly becoming terrorist, too. For instance, not too long after I got seriously into activism, my dad, the humble high-school chemistry teacher, apparently became a terrorist.

And now, only a little more than a year after I joined the editorial board of Contexts, it will be featuring an article by noted sports-critic and now recognized terrorist Dave Zirin.

Man, I'm like the King Midas of anti-leftist hysteria...

Adding A Completely Unecessary Voice to the Chorus

Friday night I did something I have never done and really never thought I would do: I waited, with ticket already in hand, in line 3 hours for a movie. Oh, and it was in Washington D.C. in July. Which means it was (according to the bank on the corner) 92 degrees during that three hour wait, with a humidity level of roughly 1,946,833%.

But damn if it wasn't worth it. I can only say that pretty much all the reviews were correct. I went into this movie with ridiculously high expectations and yet somehow still feel the movie exceeded them. After the movie, all I could pretty much do was sit there and mutter "wow" to myself. And, of course, like everyone else, I was so blown away by Heath Ledger's iconic joker performance that I found myself incredibly bummed out that he could never repeat it, though in a way I think it serves to cement its iconic status.

What really resonated for me in the story were the none-too-veiled references to the war on terror. As Batman so eloquently demonstrated, if you lose your ideals in attempting to destroy evil, you've completely failed, because your no longer fighting for anything. It's almost as if the movie was trying to tell us that, say, invading a country because its ruthless dictator tortures all those who disagree with him in these horrible chambers of death and then using those same chambers of death to torture all the people that disagree with you is not doing any good for the world. But that might be me reading too much into it.

Anyway, go see the movie. It's fucking brilliant, and proves what the overweight outcast in middle school knew all along: that comic books really do tell great stories with intricate morals that are both moving and relevant. And as a former overweight middle school outcast who loves comic books, it's really gratifying to see the rest of the world finally catch on.

Why the RNC *Might* be a Good Thing

It should come as no surprise that I'm not a very big fan of Republicans or the absurd spectacles they put on to congratulate themselves on destroying our nation and a good chunk of the rest of the world. That being said, I'm actually kind of glad the RNC is going to be in the Twin Cities this fall.

No, I'm not happy about the millions the state is shelling out in revenue, or the way most (if not all) of our civil liberties are being rolled back in the Twin Cities so that we don't upset the Republicans and their fetishistic hated of all things free.

But I do like that fact that I just need to take a nice walk to protest their horrible ways. And I'm really excited about the fact that on the back of protest concerts already announced by the likes of Tapes N' Tapes, P.O.S., Anti-Flag and others, Steve Earle and Tom Morello announced they will be rocking St. Paul during the convention. Even more exciting, Morello has slyly hinted that some "friends" will be coming along as well, leading to rampant speculation that Rage will be playing, or at least some other kick-ass names will be showing up.

So I guess you can chalk this one up to my eternal optimism, but even this hardened radical is kind of happy that the RNC is coming to town.

Big Ups to the Mountie

You know, I wasn't even going to watch the Home Run Derby until it was announced that Morneau would be participating. And despite the heroics of the heroin-addict guy (in case you haven't already memorized every detailed of his story, you needn't worry for you'll hear it approximately 5,000,000 times before the end of the season), he pulled it out.

And like a true Canadian-turned-Minnesotan, he was more gracious in victory than the heroin-guy was in defeat. He seemed almost embarrassed to win, and gave big ups to Mr. Heroin. Even when all of the reporters rushed passed him to interview the loser, he still graciously said everything he should have.

The announcing, like usual, was terrible. Though rick Reilly did make the good point that for a sport as diverse as baseball it was a bit odd that there were only white guys in the competition, they pretty much top-to-bottom disrespected "Jason" and the Twins, as the national media always does. Firejoemorgan.com has a pretty good round up of the most stupid things said throughout the season.

But all-in-all, it was one hell of a show and it was very cool to see the first Twinkie ever to win the derby. Now let's just hope that it doesn't end up ruining the rest o his season like it has for so many other derby winners...

Barely Containing My Righteous Anger, Education Style

Blogging is always tough when you're on vacation, even when it's a working vacation. In fact, it's even harder when it's a working vacation, because in addition to playing tourist and meeting new people and all that, I'm doing actual work nearly every day. Damn you graduate school. Gone are the salad days of my youth when summer meant 14-20 hours of television a day, and my only concern was baseball standings. Now, I'm actually filling my summer days with work and responsibility and I don't like it.

But that has nothing to do with this post, it's just an excuse as to why I've been shirking my blogging duties lately. The actual purpose to this post is to lament that final dying days of the liberal education. Today the strib is running a run-of-the-mill tight job market story. But what got my attention was the also (unfortunately) typical accompaniment to such articles, a poll question asking if colleges and universities put too much emphasis on liberal arts education.

To put it politely, fuck that bullshit. This is like asking if hospitals are putting too much emphasis on curing disease. The last time I checked, the very reason that colleges and universities exist is to provide a liberal arts education. If you just want some job training, go to a community college or tech school. They're fine places, and they'll certify you for a wide variety of careers without making you learn a bunch of stuff. But if you go to a liberal-fucking-arts university, I think you should expect to take some liberal arts courses. Because, you know, it does happen to be in the fucking title of the institution.

As a scholar of criminology, I think we get this a bit more than most other majors. A good chunk of crim students just want a piece of paper that will help them become a cop (though I must admit it's not as bad at the U as it was back in Ioway). But as is usualy the case, it's the people who complain about it the loudest who typically need it the most. Call me an old-fashioned sucker or a wide-eyed idealist, but I'd just like a police force (and citizenry in general) capable of rational thought. And that, my friends, is the purpose of the liberal arts university.

So if you're asking whether colleges and universities put too much emphasis on liberal arts education, then I'm afraid you're really asking if they're spending too much time doing their job.

Gluttony Fucking Rules,or How I Celebrated the 4th

Last night, I had what may long be remembered as the greatest moment of my life. I ate at Fogo De Choa, a putatively Brazilian steak house. I don't know how Brazilian it actually is, but I do know exactly how American it is: very.

Long story short,for an un-Godly sum of money, you get all you care to eat of a rather wide selection of high-end meats, ranging from filet mignon to filet mignon wrapped in bacon. Ok, so there were many others, but these definitely dominated my several plates.

Though it's hard to estimate how much I was eating, as I'm still in a meat-induced haze, I'm pretty sure it would be measured in pounds, not ounces. And though my dining partner and I would occasionally stop to reflect on how much places like this are a giant "fuck you" to the millions of starving peoples in the world, it sure didn't stop our meat orgy.

And what is more American than that?

Happy Day of Independence to White, Property-Owing Males!

So I know I've been on a big political tip lately, but sometimes you just get fired up about things. And lately, I've been a bit upset about the fact that we're torturing people. And yes, I say "we" meaning all of us, because let us not forget that the majority of people who devised and approved of the torture techniques used are elected officials. Shit, a lot of them even ran on that platform.

If you were at all intrigued by the description of Taxi to the Dark Side (which if you haven't went out and gotten yet, please go do now), then you'll really be interested in Christopher Hitchens' recent article on waterboarding, aptly titled "Believe Me, It's Torture."

Hitchens was subject to waterboarding under controlled circumstances, knowing he could quit at anytime and go back to his cushy day job with no fear of reprisal. And yet his description of his brief encounter with the notorious torture technique speaks volumes. Go read the article, it's fascinating in the sickest way possible. Hitchens' also does a great job of laying out the case (or more accurately, repeating how the case was laid out for him by an Army interrogation specialist) on why torture not only doesn't get good or reliable information, but actually makes our nation far less safe. Not to mention it's horribly fucking wrong and should never be done to another human being for any reason, but that argument is a little too bleeding heart I suppose.

Well, have a good time grillin' and watching fireworks tonight, but do try to remember that while you're doing that, hundreds of innocent men are being brutally tortured and murdered by our own government. Enjoy!

Taxi to the Dark Side review

Just got back from a screening of the documentary Taxi to the Dark Side. Though it's hard to separate the flotsam from the jetsam in the recent glut of anti-war documentaries that have come out, this one definitely stands out. Taking a hard look at the U.S. torture practice in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Guantanamo, it made me angrier than anything I've seen in a long while.

Besides some really shocking facts (for example, the U.S. Military admits that over a third of the deaths of those in detentions were willful homicides), it really blows the lid off of any of the illusions you may still be desperately clinging to about the morality of the United States government or military. Of course, the painful juxtapositions really make themselves, as you look at the bloated corpses of innocent men who have been beaten to death (after being forced to stand naked chained to a wall for days in a row, then forced to masturbate in front of cheering guards, then attacked repeatedly by vicious dogs, then repeatedly told their mother is a whore while being force-fed I.V.s until the soiled themselves, and about a million other indignities) as you are then immediately taken to a smirking Donald Rumsfeld saying that it's nothing worse than what he has to do in his day-to-day job.

And it completely blows away the argument that these people are so dangerous that we much imprison them and torture them lest they attack us. Because not only does the military admit that the vast majority of them are not Al Qaeda, insurgents, or in any way a threat to us, but it proves who the real terrorists are. I am now much more afraid of the United States military than I am of any sort of Islamic terrorist.

Though I think what I'll most take away from it is the fact that no one responsible for this will ever be punished. Sure, a few scapegoats will get a week or two in jail, but Bush, Rumsfeld, Cheney and the whole lot of those arrogant war criminals will never be brought to justice. In fact, as the movie points out, Bush has already signed a pardon for himself in the event that he is charged with any war crimes. It reminds us that the real reason the Nazis were tried at Nuremberg is because they lost. For when you win, it doesn't matter how many innocent people you tortured and murdered.

When They Do It...

Whenever I watch a game show in which obviously working-class people are making idiots of themselves for what amounts to really not that much money in the grand scheme of things, I can't help but think how propagandistic this would look to anyone outside of capitalism. As my old man always notes, the problem with Americans is that everyone of them think they can become rich. So even though the vast, vast majority of them never will, they resist higher taxes for the wealthy or any sort of income redistribution because they see it as a moot point, given that they will be rich themselves someday.

And this is clearly what game shows are predicated upon; they're basically saying "no, don't get upset about your inability to pay for basic human services like healthcare and heating for your house, for someday you could win big!" If the Soviet Union had had shows like The Price is Right we would laugh at the propaganda they need to keep their citizens thinking their lives aren't so bad and filling them full of false hope. Yet when we do it...well, one man's propaganda is another man's patriotism.

Unfortunately, the bad-for-them-ok-for-us mentality extends far beyond game shows and mystifying propaganda. For it turns out that the military's guide for "interrogation" at Guantanamo Bay was simply copied verbatim from the manual the Chineese used to torture Americans during the Korean war.

So when they do it's torture, but when we do it...you get the idea.