Friday, October 28, 2005

Best Trent Lott quote ever?

Trent has a quality stock-room full of great quotes. Who can forget him saying that we would have had many less problems in the 60s if the country had voted in Stom Thurmond for president, who of course, was running on a segregation ticket? I know I can't.

But Trent has out-Trented himself. Today, he let this little gem slip live on CNN:

"It's time for the president to search the nation to find the best man, woman, or minority to fill the supreme court vacancy"

As always, "I'm not making this up!"

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Very interesting new blog...

A new person has entered the blogging world, and he promises to be an interesting read.

That man is Jerry Baker.

I want to tell you a little something about Jerry Baker, but most of what I can tell you is not necissarily known to be true. What I do know is that Jerry is a staple of the Cedar Falls/Waterloo (Iowa) progressive scene. You can always see Jerry in his trademark overalls, sandwhich board sign, and hiker's backpack, complete with 5' U.S. flag flying on a tall flag pole coming out of his back pack. He's definately an older fellow, but where he comes from, no one knows. What he's done in his life is open to conjecture and hearsay. My favorite Jerry Baker life story is that he used to be a high-level analyst for the CIA (he is an active member of Mensa, so it could be true) but was fired under suspicious circumstances, and thus turned radically progressive due to his hatred of the government he formerly believed in. No idea if it's true, but it's a great story.

However, one story I do know is true.

In 1984, Jerry ran for president of the United States as part of the "Big Deal" party. They were only on the ballot in Iowa. To trump up support for his candidcay, he walked all over the nation with only his backpack, sandwhich board (with "Jerry Baker for President" emblazoned on it), and his big flag flying proudly behind him. If you ask him about it, he'll give you a photo copy of a story about him from the New York Times (he always carries several with him).

In addition to protests, he can almost always be found at the University of Northern Iowa library, doing research (on what I ahve no idea) or swearing loudly at the computers that don't work.

I've only read his blog a few times, but trust me, you don't have to be a friend of Jerry's or a resident of Iowa to take something away form a reading of this man's blog. Check it out.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Rock and Roll alter egos

I was struck by an idea in a blog of a prof of mine that all musicians should have a cartoon alter-ego, so that they are free to experiment without the weight of past successes hovering over them (ala the all-star members of the Gorillaz). Of course, he was saying this in respect to legends of music such as Bruce Springstein and Neil Young, not former members of the CF Soundstation/Unity Crew or Broken Arms, but I feel it's just as important for us no-names. Maybe even more important. Most everyone has fun performing all sorts of styles of music, but most everyone will also note that to make it in today's music industry, you have to concentrate most (if not all) of your attention and publicity-seeking stunts on one musical personae. Having your cartoonish alter-ego to make great music that you may or may not want associated with your name is a great outlet for all of the creativity that just doesn't fly in today's restrictive, genre-dominated music scene. So in short, I encourage everyone to be a cartoon character in a semi-fictituos band, for a multitude of reasons, much as I have been fortunate enough to be a bassist/vocalist/drummer/guitarist for The Consumption of Neat Colors, illustrated above so well by my boy Widda-T.

I'm the one playing the know, just incase you don't recognize me solely by my well-defined pectoral muscles.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Lookie how professional I am...

Getting a squre day-job does crush a good part of your soul, but it at least gets you a neato web-profile.

So I've got that going for me.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Exploding alligators and low approval ratings: coincidence?

Florida: many things to many people. The sunshine state. America's wang. Home of overranked football teams.

But mostly it's a place where we, the rest of the nation, dump our unwanted things.

Like the elderly.

Or Burmeese pythons.

It seems that the Burmeese python population is exploding in the everglades, leading to humorous photos like these of half-digested alligators bursting out of the stomachs of pythons. It turns out that the Burmeese python was a favorite family pet a few years back, but the unwanted ones are now being dumped in the everglades and are causing huge problems, as they have no natural predators there, but thrive in the warm, moist conditions.

Much the same can be said for the elderly. They've long out-lived their cute-ness, so we dump them into a nice warm, moist climate where they can thrive amongst themselves and have no natural predators.

But there are un-intended consequences, such as voting Republican, that we didn't forsee, and we're now paying for dearly.

However, unlike nature, this problem seems to be self-correcting, as Bush's approval rating has dipped below 40%, with only 24% of Americans believing our nation is headed in the right direction.

Now if only we could take care of that snake problem.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I am not digitally capable of back-hollering

Gwen Stefani is set to receive an award next week for having the first single ever to break 1,000,000 legal downloads, proving once again, that although you can afford a computer, you can't necessisarily afford taste.

Necessity is the mother of all invention

Just when you thought your pitiful, meaningless life could never improve, along comes: ">carbonated yogurt!

Biggest selling point: "It's not painful like soda pop" said Lynn Ogden, a food science professor at Brigham Young University.

Finally, a substitute for all those hours of agonizing pain I've sat through trying to force down a soda will be replaced with soothing time spent with my carbonated yogurt.

Ogden, the inventor of corbonated yogurt, is in talks with a company that also sells e-Moo, a carbonted milk.

Life begins today!

Memories of inadvertant collegiate troublemaking

So I was reminiscing the other day with a college professor friend from undergrad (a very amusing man himself, check him out here) and I mentioned the time a poster I had put up for a theatre group I was in (everyone's favorite No Shame Theatre) which was semi-controversial. I don't exactly remember what it was (I made a ton of posters for No Shame) but I'm pretty sure it was the one in which I had a poorly drawn stick-figure Jesus on the cross with a very bloddy face and the caption read "No Shame: Christ it's good!" which I thought was pretty clever.

Anyway, somehow a state representative who happened to be on campus happened to see it, and set up a metting with the dean of the College of Humanities and Fine Arts (whom he mistakenly thought had somehting to do with No Shame) and himself and several other senators demanding that the person responsible for this (me) be removed from the school and severley disciplined.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I don't seek out trouble. It just finds me.

Anyway, then Doug reminded me of an incident I'd largely forgotten. A long time ago, the improv troupe I was in was taking publicity photos. We took one of those "for fun" photos (you know, where the camera person says "Oh, gee, you're all such a fun group. Why don't you take a funny picture?" as if it's an extremely novel concept to photograph people in humorous poses)and seeing as I figured it would never see the light of day, I whipped out the ol' finger penis. The finger penis, of course, is when one puts their hand down their pants and puts their index finger through the fly of their pants so it looks like their penis is sticking out.

How was I supposed to know that was the picture the school newspaper would use to accompany an article about the troupe?

Well, again, the shit hit the fan, the newspaper got in trouble, the director got in trouble, the theater manager got in trouble, and sevreal others. I, of course, did not, but I prefer to see myself as more of a victim in this case anyway.

Incidentally, the picture is still up on the newspaper's website for some reason. Check out my finger penis.

Humorous post-script: Awhile back, I was at the home of one of the other members of the troupe, and he had an article cut out of the paper where they used the same picture again. However, this time, the headshots of folks were cut out and put into their own little squares to make it look like they were pictures taken individually. So in the picture of the girl in front of me in the group photo, you could just see her face and a weird dangling object in front of it.

And as always, "I'm not making this up!™"